Holiday recall

“As little children we would dream of Christmas morn, and all our gifts and toys…we knew we’d find but we never realized…a baby born one blessed night…gave us the greatest gift of our lives…”

Undeniably, when we were kids, we never cared for anything on Christmas day but the gifts we received that we believed came from Santa Claus who would sneak into our house through the chimney (ironically, houses here in the Philippines do not have chimneys, and has nobody ever wondered where he would try to get inside the house?). As we grew up, we had absorbed the real meaning of Christmas, why dawn masses were held before the 25th, and for whom we would really celebrate the occasion.

But, of course, it feels good to relive childhood memories—those times that our concept of the yuletide season was shallow, when a small simple gift would draw curves on our lips and when upon seeing Christmas tree covered with colorful and dancing lights, the joy in our hearts would ignite.

I remember spending Christmas day at my grandmother’s brother’s beautiful house in Marikina City where I played games with other children whom I didn’t even know (were we related to one another?). Toys were prepared and wrapped as prizes for the winners. Of course I got some—a ball, a set of power rangers, a toy gun and other toys I can no longer recall.

That's me, the baby in red shoes, when I was about 1 year old.

To someone I can't lose

Dear New-Found-Love,

It was an accident. I never meant to seriously like you the way I do now.  I never intended to fall in love deeply with you the way I am about to. We’ve known each other for months now and have become close to each other. And the more I get to know you, the more I get drawn. Your personality may not awe all the people around you, but for me, it’s perfectly fine. I like every inch of it, actually, though there are really some parts that you have to tone down and augment.

Of maturity and love (whatever!)

Oh no, I don’t want to write about that girl I introduced to my parents back in April this year. I just want to write about that experience (although merely writing about it is talking about the girl indirectly).

Raised by conservative parents, I didn’t think that it would be easy. My parents, especially my mom, always expect me to do good things and I thought that taking a girl home to introduce her would be a bad thing for them. It might freak my mom out as it might make her think it would be detrimental to my studies (well, somehow it was). Still, I stood by my decision of introducing the girl I was courting to my parents.

It was my first time to do that, but it wasn’t my first time to court a girl. Contrary to what my family knows, I had my first girl friend in high school, the one they only knew as my bestfriend. I did not tell my parents about the real relationship we had because I knew mom would never approve of it. That hurt the girl.

This time, however, I know I have grown up already and understand what I am doing, so I proceeded with the plan, told mom I would take the girl to our house and get them introduced, and did it.

Mom was her usual self, talking nonstop about stories from the past. She was talking the whole time which sort of embarrassed me yet I didn’t stop her. I wanted to see how much of the things about my family the girl could take. That time, she was mom’s opposite. She remained silent the whole time, occasionally talking when mom asked her direct questions. Whether mom liked her or not, I didn’t ask.

We ate dinner with mom still talking (she wouldn’t really stop, you know) which made me want to do only one thing—finish dinner, so the girl and I could leave. When we were finally done, I accompanied her home. That night was my happiest.

Though she wasn’t my girlfriend yet, I introduced her to my parents because I wanted to make her happy. I learned that most girls feel respected and truly loved when they’re introduced to their suitor’s family. What I did wasn’t about impressing her, though. It was about genuinely and sincerely making her happy because I really loved her. And I did it for myself, too. I wanted to send a message to my parents, and that is I’m all grown up now. I can manage my life well and be independently responsible for my actions, however they may turn out. I can make decisions now and no longer think like a typical teenager does because, well, I’m no longer a teenager. Furthermore, I wanted them to know that their bunso isn’t bunso any more. They got the idea, I suppose.

Is she my girlfriend now? No. One week after that, we parted ways. Things didn’t turn out to be the way I wanted and expected them to be. The two months I spent on courting her was so full of happy memories and sweet moments it almost felt like a fairy tale come true. Love arrived at the time it was most unexpected and went away just as fast as it came, leaving me feeling fooled—but it’s just a feeling, not a conclusion. Apparently, it was a love story with a sweet beginning and a bitter ending. Fairy tales are fairy tales. This one was reality, but life goes on for me. Better opportunities are coming my way—much better opportunities.