Why we don't fit

Dear Princess,

I remember the first time I saw you. You entered the room, looking uncertain and seemingly feeling awkward about your new milieu. Something about you caught my attention. Something that got my eyes stuck on you the whole time you were there in front. Something that until now I haven’t completely figured out.

Being a naturally shy person, I whiled away some time before I finally mustered the courage to talk to you. But even before that, you’d already heard of rumors about me having a crush on you. Rumors that turned out to be true.

So, I started courting you even if it was only days after you and your ex-boyfriend broke up.  I thought it wasn’t wrong, so I pursued you, but I knew that it wasn’t completely right either considering that you were still in a state of confusion. Yet I took the risk. I just felt that I was in a now-or-never situation and needed to act fast.

We were sweet. Everyone saw that. But, I guess, that isn’t enough to get us fighting for something you have doubts about and I’ve been longing for. Through all the exchanges of sweet nothings, holding hands and embraces, something was missing. And I really couldn’t tell what exactly it was or when that hole would be patched up. Still, I loved you the way I vowed I would, the way you so wanted to be loved, even though there were a lot of uncertainties and unsettled issues surrounding us. I got my heart broken a number of times, perhaps because of my expectations that weren’t met. Was I too demanding? If I was, sorry, but it was never my intention to force you to do things you aren’t used to or to change your personality and attitude altogether.

We’re puzzle pieces. For months, we tried to fit the crevices together and determine which gap certain things must fill. But the more we tried, the more confused we got and in the end, we just found ourselves in the middle of still separated fragments. This is what I’ve realized: Yes, we are pieces, but not of the same jigsaw puzzle. And that missing link? Friendship. We became close without becoming friends first which could have given us the opportunity to know each other well and accept the strengths and weaknesses we’ve discovered about each other. That empty hole would explain the doubts and the confusions.

But though we know we can never be together, I will continue loving you. And that’s what I want to tell the whole world. I didn’t write this letter just to have something to post on my blog. I wrote this to let everyone know that even if things don’t fit, even if we are pieces of different puzzles, that special place you’ve occupied in my heart…will always be yours. But I have to kiss that dream of having you goodbye.

The Guy with the Cute Smile